3. [WP] In a cynical, fleece-the-masses, let's-fake-religion-for-tax benefits cult,...

[WP] In a cynical, fleece-the-masses, let's-fake-religion-for-tax benefits cult, one person in the inner circle is an honest, true believer. That person was just accidentally elected Supreme Cult Master

'You can't actually be serious, Colin?' Harriet asked, leafing through the gold pages of the pamphlet.

'I'm deadly serious, Acolyte Johnson and please call me Supreme Inquisitor when inside the Sanctum.' Colin replied, as he knelt before the bronze statue of Lord Handrex.

'Sorry Supreme Inquisitor, but this plan is actually ludicrous. You are proposing we build a fully functioning colony ship and fly to the centre of our galaxy.' Harriet answered. She did not actually expect anyone in the Cosmologians to actually believe in the Exodus.

'Isn't that our grand mission? To travel to the cradle of creation and join with our cosmic parent? This whole church was founded in order to follow the path of our forebears and you call it ludicrous? You speak out of turn Acolyte. I thought you would understand more than anyone.' Colin rose, eyes glowing with zeal.

'Oh shit. He actually believes in all this crap.' Harriet had joined the Church just for the social side. Get a fast track to that position at Head Office, wear a fancy robe every Sunday and get some sweet tithes from poor saps. She never thought someone would actually believe the doped up ravings of some conman who ran a cosmic Ponzi scheme. Colin advanced to Harriet, clutching the Holy Amulet in his hand.

'I believe in this Amulet. I believe in this hallowed ground and I will not have people of my inner circle questioning our grand quest.' He shook the Amulet in Harriet's face. She could still smell the silver spray paint on the market stall relic

'It's not the quest I doubt Colin...'

'Supreme. Inquisitor.'

'Supreme Inquisitor Colin, yeah, it's the logistics of the thing. We can barely make it to Mars and you expect us to build a spaceship which can transport hundreds of us to someone thousands upon thousands of light years away. It can't be done.' Harriet replied, as Colin drew closer to her face. This was getting incredibly uncomfortable.

'It will be hard work and money will be spent, but this is our mission. I expect every member of this Church to help make our goal a success. If they don't, I will not hesitate to bring down the wrath of our Enforcers down upon their heads.' The 'Enforcers' were more likely to get hammered down the pub than bring down any galactic justice. It was just an excuse to wear a spacesuit in the afternoon with tout being laughed at.

'Of course Supreme Inquisitor. Forgive my insolence. What would you have me do?' Harriet saw fundraisers flash before her eyes. A zealot needed money and the Cosmologians were pretty good at passing round the collection plate. She was sure the cosmic parent wasn't going anywhere and would be happy to see its children enjoy their time before their grand Exodus.

'Gather the Inner Circle. I want plans drafted for mass initiation and Inducement seminars in every city in the country. I will spread our message of celestial harmony throughout the world, so we may all bask in the galaxy's glow. Now begone. I must anoint myself.'

'I'm sure you will Supreme Inquisitor.' Harriet backed out of the chamber, suppressing her giggles. It was time to tell the others that there was a possible flaw in their grand plan of cleansing money in the fires of nonsense.

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