“I object!” I threw open the doors to the church and ran inside. “I object, I object,” I whispered. I’d been practicing for weeks. I only hoped I wasn’t too late. I heard the minister talking. He was telling the audience about the first time he’d met the couple. “Only they weren’t a couple, then. Oh, no. They were arguing over…” his voice got quieter. I couldn’t hear anything. I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead. Gross. That’s what I get for sleeping in and having to run. I hadn’t even had time to put on my outfit. Blue shorts, red shirt, and green flip-flops. This was the best I could do. But I knew she wouldn’t care.
I opened the door softly. “And she just hit him right on the nose. Now, if you’d have told me these two would one day end up getting married,” the minister smiled and shook his head. “But anyways-”
“I OBJECT!” I hadn’t meant to say it. Well, not just then. I felt bad for interrupting the minister. And boy had I said it. yelled it, in fact. I heard someone giggle, and then quickly quiet down.
“Excuse me?” It was the minister. Neither Hannah nor Michael had turned to me. In fact, no one did. Other than the minister.
“I...uh...I object to this marriage.” A little softer now. People were starting to look. But still nothing from Hannah or Michael.
The minister chuckled. “It’s a bit early, Frank.”
“What?”
“We haven’t got to the right part of the ceremony!”
“I…”
“Sorry for the interruption, everyone. Frank was supposed to do this later.” The minister checked his watch. “Give us about 5 minutes, Frank. You kinda ruined it, actually. Let’s just call it off, okay? No one else is ready.”
I was seriously confused. It looked like a lot of other people were confused, too. Then I heard the giggle again. I looked on the bride’s side of the room to find the source. goddamnit. it was Hannah’s brother, Tim. He turned and motioned me towards the empty seat.
Once I was seated, the minister smiled. “Let’s go on.”
Two minutes passed, and the lovely couple were saying their vows. Tim tapped my thigh. “Hey man, sorry about that. I couldn’t let you do it though,” he whispered.
“What?” I whispered back.
“I couldn’t let you humiliate yourself. She’s just not into you, man. So i told them we were gonig to play a prank on them.”