It was a long time ago now, our first run in, I still remember how I felt prior to ever meeting you, I was whole, I was happy, I was myself and nothing more, nothing less. Then you came along, i'd heard mixed opinions on you, some warning me to stay away, others telling me it was up to me whether I wanted to find out or not, at first I was scared, vowing to never let you into my life based on what others had told me, but when saw what you did to others, the gleam in their eyes and the seemingly pure, unfiltered manifestation of 'themselves' after they'd touched you just made me all the more curious. You know, it's true when they say you're a deceptive bitch, that you lie, cheat, and steal from anyone and everything you come into contact with, but I didn't care, I fell in love with you, I couldn't fight the temptation, I had my first taste

you changed my life, for better or worse, at first it was nothing but good, but as you stuck around, I started to see the evil, throwing money away, letting go of my hopes and dreams, hurting those around me, all in the name of you.

You sly little bitch you, perhaps it was my mistake assuming you could possibly do right by me, after everything I did for you, you still did to me, what you did to everyone else, so I did what I do to all of those that hurt me, I let you go. I can't say i'm sorry, but I do miss you sometimes, and perhaps in another universe, we could be together for ever, but the effect you have on people is something universal, no one can deny how appealing you are, no one can give into your subtle, seemingly harmless temptations and walk away unscathed. In a way, I feel sorry for you, because of you countless people have suffered trauma, physical, psychological, many have thrown their lives away in your name, but I know just as well as you that it's not your fault, it's theirs, just as it was mine. After all, all you do is offer something that cannot be obtained in any other way, pure, immediate, gratification with life.

You were my lover, you were my ex, you were the drug that ruled my life, and as much as I wish to have you back, I know I cannot dabble with something so immensely powerful, I'm sure everyone knows what you are, and as much as I wish the person that brought this out in me was not who it was, she was my first love, and first love has the same effect on everyone that comes in contact with it

I've battled dark times with drugs, alcohol, even still find myself addicted to cigarettes, but nothing compares to the addiction of that first love, it's been nearly 3 years and I still find myself struggling to get past it, being tempted to relapse and return to you, more than anything else i've become addicted too.