3. [WP] It's the year 2278. The Holy Empire of Boston, The New Republic of Philadel...

[WP] It's the year 2278. The Holy Empire of Boston, The New Republic of Philadelphia, and The United Burrows of New New York are at the brink of war. Diplomats from each nation are meeting to negotiate peace. You are the translator.

[camera pans over bedroom] :Pat voice over (southern accent): I've been a translator for the past 30 years. Retired for 10 but they call me for a few assignments when things get heated [cut to alarm clock showing 4:38] [phone rings] :Pat voice over: I'm the best there was or will be :Pat on phone: The big three again. I understand. :Pat voice over: But when the big three get together... anything can happen

[camera pans over Nashville, cutting to land marks] :Pat voice over: see its 2278. we survived more things than we should have. The east coast looks the same but the cities of Boston, New York, and Philadelphia rebelled against the government in 2018 and have been running their states as their own countries. Nashville is the capital of the united states now, because, well D.C. doesn't exist any more. :pause: [camera shows sun rising over city, cut to office] [Pat walks into office where Johnson meets him, they shake hands and greet] :Pat: they're all in there? :Johnson: They're ready, are you? :pat: I was last time :johnson: {laughing} I hope we don't have a repeat

[camera pans down, facing door, Pat approaches, sighs, walks in]

[Three men are shouting at each other, all in suits, clearly in heated debate] :Pat voice over: ever since the war of 2018 the country has had {pause} difficulty. We only have a few escapes from the horrors. The escapes were of course sports. An activity that allowed people to forget about their real life and pretend that people swinging bats, throwing balls and hitting pucks actually mattered in the real world. These fanatics refused to see things any other way than their own. The only issue was these cities did not share a common tongue to express their displeasure with eachothers' teams. [camera cuts to Pat, low angle shot] :Pat: {shouting} Hey youse Guys! :Pat voice over: thank god the east coast dialects had some similar phrases [camera cuts to Geno] :Pat voice over: this is Geno, the Phanatic from the new republic of Philadelphia [camera cuts to Ellis] :Pat voice over: Ellis Hudson from The United Burrows of New New York, Queens Sector [Camera Cuts to O'Reilly] :Pat voice over: And Duncan O'Reilly from the South of the Holy Empire of Boston

[Camera overhead shot of the table, then over the shoulder behind Pat] :Pat: {to O'Reilly} Hi Hosey th' seat {to Ellis} Sittown! {to Geno} Jawn your jawn! [camera pans across the 3 men] :Pat voice over: ya see, the HE of Boston can't stand UBNY sports, UBNY Can't stand NR Philly sports and the Philadelphians.. well they just hate everyone. Legend has it that they once threw snowballs at Santa. Very dangerous people to deal with [camera cuts to the head of the table looking at the men] :Pat voice over: Today they were probably on about Hockey. The Philadelphia flyers had just won the Stanley Cup their 200th consecutive time last night after controversial wins over the Boston Bruins and the New New York Islanders. They beat the Las Vegas Golden Knights in the finals, so I was glad that no one from the west was here.

[camera here should be mostly over shoulder, I want a few direct low angle shots of Pat, and tilted ones of Ellis et co] :Ellis: Geno's, spazzing over here cuz thems guys won th' cup again. :Pat: Geno, Ellis is jawned that you are jawning jawned jawn with the jawn :Geno: he can jawn his jawn with a jawn. we jawned the jawn jawn and jawn :Pat:{turns to Ellis} He dead ass can't help it. He says Stop trippin', yo his team jus better :O'Reilly: That Chowda head better shut his trap or I'm gonna whip my bobos at him! [Low angle on Pat] :Pat voice over: this is not starting well [Over the shoulder] :Pat: {to Geno} They're jawned you won't jawn. maybe you could jawn jawn a jawn :Geno: Jawn their jawns. I'm Jawned that they Jawned. Jawn em to get jawned :Pat voice over: a direct translation of this will only escalate things :Pat: {to Ellis} I'm dead-ass son, I know you're dumb tight now madude, but just be cool and he'll lose fire in a trip or two [Ellis grumbles] :Pat: {to O'Reilly} O'Reilly, don't repeat last time. I know how the gahden is :O'Reilly: He's a wicked re-re and needs ta shut is trap :Pat: {calmly to Geno} just jawn your jawn man. You've jawned the jawn for 200 jawns. just jawn it jawn :Geno: {irate} Jawn my jawn?! {stands and points at Ellis and O'Reilly} Their jawns can jawn a jawn if they jawn jawn jawning jawn jawn jawn jawned for jawn. [camera shoots from behind Pat]{Ellis and O'Reilly stand} :O'Reilly: Da Broons aren't gonna take it from a cheesesteak eating skiddah! :Ellis: Don't need to speak his language to know what he said, I'm Mad dumb you.. you.. you yinzer! [shot of Geno's face, mouth open, aghast] :Geno: how dare you

[camera cuts back to Pat, shaking head, camera pans up and sounds of fighting are heard] :Pat voice over: I guess it will be like last time

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