Bob's computer is spitting fire again.

The level of calibration it takes to make an LCD screen produce that kind of heat is ridiculous. Impossible, or at least thought to be impossible. I'm cheating a little, because I've made his wireless mouse give of microwave frequency transmissions, and there's enough moisture in the office air to cook...

Bob has bought five screens in succession already, each one from a different company. His moustache is still singed from the last one.

Bob starts to cry and I smile.

I've never actually seen Jeanette in person. I know everything about her, of course, I know that she once took a close up picture of her genitals with her camera phone to see if she had warts there and then deleted it right after.

Nothing you delete is actually deleted. Not until it's written over. Not even then.

That the phone broke a week after this incident - a week before I discovered one of Jeanette's throwaway Internet accounts meeting The Criteria - did complicate matters. Not much, though.

Why password123? Why not, say, qwertyuiop?

Because.

Because I hate it.

It's evil.

Depraved.

Disgusting.

Alexander's PayPal account has a much more robust password than his webgames account. It's a good password, not evil or tainted, except by association with the filth that is its owner.

PayPal has precautions against hacking, all pretty laughable. I funnel Alexander's money through a sock puppet bank account before funneling it to a Mexican drug cartel. Then I send a tip to the police.

The world is a filthy place. I like cleaning it.

Finding the sinners... Well, it's not very hard to break into site databases. Especially low security sites, which is where the most sins are committed. Oh, the people I have caught on reddit throwaways. Shameful.

Then it's a matter of deciding what the proper atonement should be and how to deliver it.

I can do that. I'm very talented, and I know what I was made for.

I make the world a better place.