r/nottheonion - Page 7

128 words ‘Pharma Bro’ wants out of prison to research coronavirus 394 words TX Woman Dies Of COVID After Posting Facebook Rant: “You Don’t Need Sanitizer, You Need Faith And Guns” 366 words Man was arrested for breaking social distancing rules - by paddle boarding alone with nobody around 114 words A single factory is now working 24/7 to keep Kraft Dinner on grocery shelves 136 words GameStop rules itself 'essential retail' and therefore immune to lockdown closures 162 words Blind man fails citizenship test after being denied Braille 127 words Cops take seized SUV for joyride; owner tracks car, locks them inside for 3 hrs 147 words Pope to Catholics: For Lent, give up trolling 175 words 'I Don't Want to Go in a Police Car.' Body Camera Footage Captures Handcuffed 6-Year-Old's Tearful Pleas During Arrest at School 147 words Lawsuit: Taxpayer money used to buy lubricants, porn and silk boxer shorts at Glenwood Resource Center 128 words Video Of Armed Guard Threatening To Shoot Florida High School Student Trying To Leave Campus Despite His Excused Absence Goes Viral 351 words The American Dream is much easier to achieve in Canada 226 words People no longer believe working hard will lead to a better life, survey shows 129 words Senators under strict orders to pay attention during weeks-long impeachment trial 280 words Texas Republican Says Vaccines Are 'Sorcery,' Claims 'Parental Rights' Are More Important Than Science 140 words Unpaid $8.41 property tax bill cost Michigan man his house 244 words ICE arrested 250 foreign students at fake university in metro Detroit 130 words Police Owe Nothing To Man Whose Home They Blew Up, Appeals Court Say 221 words US police sergeant told to 'tone down the gayness' wins $20m in damages 122 words Student Hacked Into Downingtown Area School District System To Gain Competitive Advantage In Water Gun Fight, Officials Say