I don't have HIV but I do have herpes, so although I can't relate on the physical effects, I understand the social stigma because the media etc. gets very upset about the concept of incurable STIs. However you have to remember that it's more the sense of you being a carrier, your illness is suppressible even if you did pass it on, which as others have mentioned is really unlikely.

It's easy to take the view of it being a strike against you, in my case I saw my depression as a strike against me, my herpes and my history in the sex industry but the reality isn't like that, people aren't just written off over having 'downsides', people are complex. Some people won't see past it because of their own fears or ignorance but those people aren't the people you need to explain this to. You might have lots of relationships but most likely you'll only be with one person at a time so you really only need one persons acceptance at one point.

There's two fears at play, one that he will reject you and be horrible and tell people, I don't think you should fear his rejection, I think it's unlikely he will, since catching my STI I've had three boyfriends all very comfortable with it, I know herpes is less severe in it's health implications although I did have it very badly initially but it does have higher transmission rates and it didn't scare any loving relationships away just to give you an idea. I have been rejected by a hookup over it once and I was sad but I didn't like him as a person so really it kind of did me a favour. it's like a handy sieve, people have a right to say no and that doesn't make them a bad person but people who are jerks will also be in that group and because it's a sensitive topic that requires trust it means your intimacy will already be grounded in trust and closeness. As for fearing him telling other people, if you think he's likely to do that then it's probably best to avoid dating him but if he did, you'd have to hold your head up and then you become a strong example for other people who have HIV or an STI, if people started to get very nasty then make sure the bullying got tackled and tell your parents.

As for the second fear, the fear of hurting someone you care for, It's very unlikely you'll pass it on but it does give you an added stress, it feels like a moral burden as if you're responsible for someone elses health but if he's okay with it you have to respect his choice to choose his own health, he'd have weighed up the options and knows he's okay with the risk. Ultimately we're all at risk of hurting the people we love, just by breathing. I think this must be terrifying for you but if you feel this guy is a good guy then take the first steps and talk about this because I think it'll all seem less scary once it's in your hands. STI's are stigmatised societally so much because of that mix of sex and morality even though in your case you didn't have sex, there are a lot of things we carry that make people very ill that we don't blame people for, we blame the the bacteria or virus instead. I wish you the absolute best, you can have a happy loving relationship it is definitely possible. I hope this helped.