Part of the problem may be who it's coming from. I imagine it's hard to take that type of stuff from your brother without gritting your teeth.
Yeah that is probably true. I think I'm more liable to defend myself better if it was coming from a friend or roommate ect.
Also, he's probably making you feel like he's talking down to you or being condescending. Since you say you're sensitive, you might be taking these things a little harsher than he means. Just try to think about it from his shoes. He sees (important word here, sees) his little bro who's living with him for the moment doing next to nothing while he feels him and his wife are busting their ass. They leave, you're at home. They come back, you're at home. This is clearly not the case, you live a life too, but it's easy for it to like this to him. I used to do this to my roommates and it got worse the more tired I got.
He mentioned that "he isn't meaning to be hard on me, its just the way that him and the other brothers are" which is the equivalent to saying "hey I know I treat you like shit, but deal with it, its just the way that I am" which is a poor excuse to treat someone badly. THAT BEING SAID. I know hes not trying to be an ass, hes just trying to get his point across by drilling his voice into my head. As of right now my sleep schedule is messed up, this is because the job I used to work at I would work from 12-12, so my schedule was already messed up to begin with, and not I do sleep for a good portion of the day. Do I mean to? no. Is it hard to get your sleep schedule back on track? definitely. That also being said, yes I do other things. I look for jobs, browse reddit, do some research on what I want to go to school to study, head out with friends every once in a while.
Anyways, the truth is you may have to try and develop thicker skin. If it's not that big of a burden to you, rinse the dishes off and throw them in the dishwasher. Maybe work something out so you guys rotate, or even offer to do it more often than them. Because you're unemployed they automatically think you have nothing better to do if you're at home.
Yes, but how? seems like an odd subject. Do I just not give a shit and try to reason? lol. and no, its not that big of a burden at all. a couple dishes/a sink full? no problem. ask me to do a mountain of dishes which I hardly used? Yes, that's a problem. and yes I agree as well about the nothing better to do.
If you're asking how to deal with being lectured, you've just gotta realize that sometimes you may be wrong. And even if you're not, don't get mad about it. Either talk it out IF YOU THINK YOU CAN GET TO A RESOLUTION, or let it be. Best way to end/get out of an argument is to say, "Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." Obviously don't say this every time there's a disagreement. Concede when it's not worth fighting over. At our age (I'm two years older, but it's similar) it's really really fucking hard for us to just say "yeah you're right man." It's easy for us to fight, especially if we think we're right. Sometimes you just have to bite your cheeks and not say anything, then just relax. It may sound confusing or dumb but learning to live with people is a lot harder than just living with people. Hope your living situation and job search works out. Sorry for rambling.
Haha I wasn't even mad, I understood where he was coming from, that yeah I could lend a better hand in the house work. But to make excuses as to why he shouldn't have to do it and to make silly assumptions and lecture me on those.. that annoys me. The thing with trying to come up with a resolution and/or walk away is that sometimes you can't walk away because the other party keeps pressuring/ bothering you. and Yes you're right. it is hard to say "yeah you're right" especially when you don't understand where they are partially coming from in the first place. I'm sure everything will blow off and be fine in a couple days. Job search is still a trouble but its happening. Thanks!