Just looking for alternative opinions from other sources. The problem is not the gossip, its like you said, people don't give a shit they don' care, not even the ones who you thought you could rely on.

I have been alone my entire life. I meditate often, I think things through, I have been given glimpses of alternative ways to live and I can see the evolutionary pressures that make them seem more fulfilling.

However i see all purpose as temporary, we're all gonna die anyway. Something I have learned is if your life collapses and you are unable to satisfy any of your baser animal urges, the brain has a powerful way of sucking much of the joy out of life. I put myself out there for people on so many occasions and all I have received in kind is pain.

So my view really now is I just don't see a point in anything anymore, all of my current endeavors have failed, my family and friends look at me with pity and show me no respect, and following any of my psychologists or therapists advice has just ended in more disappointment in myself and other people.