You've brought a human into this world. Your wife decided 128,652,378 times to stay when she had every right to up and bail. Bipolar was compounded by drug use. You owe those two lives every bit of stable you and stable life.
Your desire for sex is not love its another drug. You have to Earn respect, cultivate love, be committed and self aware what sex and love are and where you fit into both, and trust is earned and re earned. You want straight talk? Don't force your wife for sex, if anything write down what "humble", " maturity", and "father" means on a paper and put in your wallet. You can't take it, understand how jerking off is a drug as well, then go ahead and instead of pressure on your wife, jerk off to the fantasy of you stable and being a great father and life partner and soul mate. Imagine your wife willing to be pleased With you because you manned up, not pleased you.
You wanted perspective, here's one, so don't allow defensive thoughts to cloud these following words. Under no uncertain terms, your life and two others are at stake. Some tough hard at first work then easy going simplicity is up ahead and yours of you choose it; mental DNA issues from birth are one thing, knowing you can see others worse off, without kids, turn it around and find stable , means there's a choice here.
Will you be self involved and not eat sleep diet and exercise right along with what you know about bipolar, (meds, therapy, over sight) or will you do your best, educate yourself, and stop holding grudges against yourself and wife and see its about the kid now, and you will feel such joy doing right by that kid? Even if your wife wants to separate, you still know that girl will be a woman with maybe her own challenges not just from DNA but environment? I'm bipolar as a motherfucker bro, I just owned up to what's mine to own. You do not, fuck up kids lives. You are no longer due to your decision just here for you. Your gut and brain know she and wife can never replace you. Make those wise right choices. Beware traps of that notebook nature. Don't go backwards.
No excuses. Harmony , with wife, ask what she needs don't assume. Shut the fuck up on your petty needs. Envision the simple happy of being there, support by physical needs of shelter and substance, and be nice, not selfish. Your diagnosis is a stab at why you had Impulse control issues, it ain't you or your excuse to duck you stuck a dick in what you wanted and a future woman popped out. You OWE her a chance at stable womanhood. Your wife too. You know the drill. Be your own Reddit , use for growth, unsub from any sub that's a distraction or GTFO. The world will judge and hurt you something fierce you don't own your reality. I can read your competency so its a choice. Do right by your gals. You done fucked up. Make it right and keep it right. Discussing more a joke. This sub is full of enablers , get actual advice from pros. Notice most w say that sucks and talk about their own problems.
Good job, not good luck. You're gonna man up and father up. Go do it. I don't want nor need a reply. You have a lot of things soft, nice, caring, respectful, and humble to do for those ladies. Get going.