That whole season I locked myself in a bunker far away from south Florida, miles beneath that ground. And I wrote on a piece of paper “if the dolphins suck per usual, please god, don’t let Josh Allen get Marino’ed. if we’re gonna be total dogshit, I’d like to see Josh Allen at least get one bowl and not suffer being “considered the greatest of all time without a super bowl ring” on Wikipedia.

After that game, I went back to the bunker and burned it. I hope we blow out the bills one day, and become the AFC east unstoppable team. I hope y’all get sooooooo tantalizingly close, but never, ever, get a bowl. I hope you get dad dicked by Mahomes for a decade. I hope your tongues come so close to glory, but never taste it.

Then, when we become the inexplicable AFC east team who dominates, ala’ Patriots and now Bills, I hope we have a dynasty and rub our flippers all over your bloated corpses