I feel like I've been predisposed to develop depression since I was young as well. I've always felt emptiness since I was little. I remember times when I thought of scenarios of bad things happening to me and feeling like "then I would have a reason for feeling this way." I remember forcing myself to cry so my physical reaction can reflect on how I felt on the inside. I suppose as a child that I was always preoccupied with school or television to really dwell on my feelings. I was probably 6 when I realized this. I had times when I felt so emotionally uneasy that I started to stab my empty shoe boxes because I have no other way to express how I felt. I was never really happy until I was 16 for that one year when I engaged myself in everything like school, sports, and friends. I basically had a life and when that slowly changed, I changed as well.

I don't have a surefire way to change this as I'm still suffering from depression. But I know that I can't wallow on my past and why it was unhappy. I don't pity myself. I try to look for ways to make my life better. There are some things out of my control so I let those go. I try to surround myself with people who make me feel better and recognize the toxic ones. Depending on your personality, you need some level of introversion to recognize some negative behavioral traits that can magnify your depressive feelings. You can seek outside help like from a therapist and talk out your issues. You may find a completely different perspective and something might click in your head. I was very lonely as a child so I live in my head more than most other introverted depressed people. Exercise is also amazing. It's hard in the beginning but it's so amazing as your endurance builds up.

I feel like depression is a series of habits. You need to break the habits in order to find clarity within your depression. I find that coming on reddit and other support group sites help me a lot.