You sound like a smart person and you don't sound like you're symptomatic. It sounds like your ex-boyfriend was a stupid asshole.

People who bring that up when it's inappropriate are usually too stupid to hold the conversation you are trying to have with them. It's like they can't win the argument, so they say something akin to "like it matters what someone who has a history of fuck ups and was in the nuthouse thinks." It can be worse than just hurling epithets; if you give into it, it can be a form of oppression. It's why I'll usually delete my messages in this sub after a bit, I'm sure some people have accounts just to post here. I don't want some other redditor stalking me and using it against me in some debate here. I'm giving every reddit stalker a chance to invalidate my future arguments just by posting here.

Anyhow, I know that I am capable of making sense and sometimes too much or too little, but I think I have a pretty good internal gauge of where I'm at, even if I'm off the rails. But I'm not right now, and I've dealt with that a couple times before, and the way I deal with that when someone says that and you're pretty fucking sure you're sane, then you can just turn right around and refuse to continue the argument unless that person is a god damn doctor or some such and you get pissed but you don't get angry or do something rash. Do not give the person that power. While you should be pissed that person insulted you, you should be pissed off to the point where you can walk away and do something productive, but this can be difficult if you give them too much power. At best, the person insulting is you is temporarily ignorant and you're temporary angry and a solution is reached. But at worst, that person is basically a bigot just in a harden to pin down fashion - and if you're infatuated with someone they can become your oppressor. It's gotta be harder when you live with that person though.

but basically your ex-boyfriend sounds like just a jerk who makes jerk arguments, I've seen a few jerks in my day. Although as someone who maybe has snuck around my ex-gf's in the past doing things like pretending not to smoke (because my girlfriend said it wasn't allowed)- i could see myself using whatever deflection method possible in the heat of the moment were i caught doing something with my own body by her at the time, and if i were trying to hide getting high on coke there's a good chance I would fly off the handle. Going on a coke binge can or being a cokehead can make you seem bipolar, and being bipolar can make you seem like you're on a coke binge (for some people).