I think the question is less "when will he propose?" and more "am I sure he plans on spending the rest of his life with me?" Is what's tripping you up that you think it might not happen because he may decide not to stay with you - or that his mother will linger on so long that it becomes unfeasible?

If the former, have the conversation now so you guys are on the same page. Ask him if he sees himself committed to you and married to you in his future. Ask if he can commit to that and promise you that now - even if you guys don't have a public engagement.

We just had this talk today and he for sure wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

(PS - you guys can be "engaged" e.g., you have decided to marry one another, and tell literally no one else. That would give you the long engagement you hope for, you could tell people when it's right for the family, etc.)

HE wants the whole shebang. He's planning this whole proposal that's "going to blow me away." I don't mind if I have an undercover proposal and be secretive about it. He's the one thay wants to make it a huge deal. So I'm waiting.

If the concern is his mom will linger, then it's just a boundary setting conversation. Tell him that you love him, that you support him during this time and want him to make the right decisions for his family - but he plans on you being a part of his family too and needs to consider your needs as well. For biological reasons, you absolutely want to be married and trying for a child by 32 (or whatever) and you need his commitment that you guys will be there at that point, even if it hurts his mother. Then continue to support him as he navigates what must be a very difficult time.

I'm going to talk to him about it again when I see him next and bring up what you just said here.

Good luck!

Thank you for your advice!!! I really appreciate it!!!