You shouldn't marry someone without knowing what you have the ability to know about who they are.

That's the way I would describe the best reason to have sex before marriage. Sex is a really big deal. You can accidentally or unknowingly miss out on parts of who someone is, and that is understandable, but actively choosing not to know them in one of the most meaningful of ways before you sew your life to theirs is unwise.

It's not that you need to learn about how they engage in the mechanics of having sex. It's that it's unwise to reject learning who they are in this very profound part of a relationship.

I also gotta tell you something... some guys fall in love in love in a marrying sort of way only if sex has been had. I know that this is not the story we are told about male sexuality, but it can be true.

I would never in a million years marry someone my soul, however you define that, had not ALREADY joined with through sex. You don't get married and then let sex connect your deepest selves. You connect your deepest selves, and then marry.