How so? I’ve read several comments that indicate their therapist either had them use a safe word, which is meant to stop the one person from raising their voice and stop the other from shutting down (this is literally what I’m saying in my responses) or to table the conversation until they can speak without someone raising their voice and emotions are cool (once again literally what I’m saying in my responses). I’be never said OP should shut down immediately and be cool with that, I’ve stated that OP has every right to ask that he speak calmly in order to continue a productive conversation, and if he could not oblige that request then they table the conversation until he could oblige. That can be done by a simple request or by using the safe word, or by tabling the discussion until they can speak in a calm manor. Tell me what is wrong here exactly? People keep saying OP needs therapy to figure out how to deal with this, and this is how she can deal with it and how a therapist would suggest dealing with it, they would not suggest she simply learn how to deal with people raising their voice with her and just power through.