29F dating over 40

I've had a few relationships with 10-18 year age gaps due to not wanting biological kids of my own. I knocked my age range higher and higher due to issues I've had with dating men in their 30s who don't know what they want and don't care to figure it out. It's not really a "whole new world," just a pool of the same men with extra life experience (good and bad) tacked on and I would caution against romanticizing them just based on them being older.

There are loads of immature men in their 40s and 50s, especially sleazy ones who are going to pursue you because they think you're easily to manipulate due to inexperience. I had my heart broken by a guy who was in his early 40s when we met who never disclosed his fear of commitment. I later found out he only dated women in their late 20s because they were too naive to recognize the red flags and consistently dumped them after 6-12 months when they would get sick of the situationship and start pushing to define things.

I know generally you can say older man/woman = more experience = easier time dating but it's not a hard and fast rule. My advice is to date older men with the same precautions as guys your own age. Good ones and bad ones are out there at age 40+ just like 20-30. If an older guy compliments you by insulting women their own age, or complains about older women being jaded with higher expectations, that's a major red flag. He's dating you for the wrong reasons.

/r/datingoverforty Thread Parent