I didn't get anything from your post, with the exception of mentioning being raised with religious values to indicate your reasons are religious. Seems like there was a lot of jumping to conclusions. I've found that reddit is pretty hostile to conservative/traditional values so just take all the advice here for what it is: coming from complete strangers on the internet. I had a lot of questions like yours during my separation/divorce, asked a lot of questions and thought a lot about sex and future relationships... and I've been divorced nearly 3 years and abstinent for 5. I think these questions are all a part of processing what we want for the future. My reasons for waiting are both religious and personal...sex clouded my judgement in previous relationships. Amazing sex did not equate to an amazing marriage, if anything it contributed to choosing a pretty inadequate partner. I doubt I desire sex any less than everyone else on this sub, I'm just not willing to sacrifice what I want most for what I want right now.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad or creepy about getting head knowledge or exploring ideas during your divorce.... totally normal.