None of what you said is stupid! If vulnerability got you hurt in a very big way, of course you're going to be reluctant to risk it with someone new. That makes all the sense in the world.

If you haven't done so, you might consider talking this through with a professional. It sounds like you've done a lot of self-work, but sometimes we can think ourselves into a corner. If nobody's questioning our assumptions, we can be stuck there for far too long.

It's "okay not to talk about it" to a partner in the sense that they're not owed that. Partners can't be considerate about things they don't know, though. Someone who's really on Team You wouldn't want you to be both hurting and scared to share it with them.

Good thoughts, OP!