Here's the thing. If you're living a lifestyle where it's his responsibility to interact with females, and you don't like him interacting with females in a non-sexual way, you need to stop making relationship demands and leave the relationship. You're contributing to this equation. He said he liked her company because she's positive around him. So what!?

Of course he admits to emotional cheating. YOU have defined what that means for him. If he didn't realize it was emotional cheating before, that's because it probably wasn't! Are we the thought police now? You've laid out a list of demands and he's just trying to make you feel happy and in control of the relationship. No offense, but it kind of just seems like he's telling you what you want to hear because he fears losing you - you're in a way forcing excuses out of him. I know the military can be a bit void of emotion, but you sound like a robot. You overanalyze EVERYTHING, even stories & problems that aren't yours. Your solution is to quote every single text message, break it down from multiple directions and come to multiple conclusions that all place blame on other people. Don't forget people are humans, not machines. These posts could be reduced to about 3 medium-sized paragraphs. That tells you a little about the way you go about thinking these things through.

I'm telling you right now - the therapy, the agonizing process of trying to regain your trust, the control and the jealosy (partly caused by him, partly your problem) are not worth his, or your time and energy. It just seems like from the way you talk about your marriage and describe things, that any minor issue or 3rd party relationship that comes along can easily destroy your trust. It's not fair for him to have emotionally invested relationships with other women, but it's also not fair to either of you to keep him in an emotional doghouse - that's only going to keep you from finding a healthy balance. And I'll be honest, based on your posts, i'm not sure if balance is something you're going to easily obtain. Parting ways is honestly a gift I think you give him and yourself. You're going to come across worse issues than this with most people you engage with - heads up.