People are going to hate me for this comment:
If you don't like the way look change it.
If you think being ugly is setting you back change it.
You can achieve it in about 2-4 years if done right.
Do real research about fitness. Get a good personal trainer and dietitian if you need it. Basics in that if you are over weight first loose weight, then build muscle. To lose weight eat less calories than you use. To gain weight, when bulking, eat more calories than you use. This way you get your body right. This step takes years to get to a great point(depending on starting point).
Get the right hair cut for your face. Find out your face shape and find hair cuts that work well with your face. Go to a good barber, see him once a month or once every 2-3 weeks depending on your hair cut. Some need more care than others.
Change your hair completely every 3-5 years to keep updated with trends and aging. What works for you when your 30 changes when you're 35/40.
Get your self a stylist. Do research on men's style. There's the classics, follow thoes first before trying trends.
If you have anything you feel like it absolutely needs plastic surgery to fix. Wait about 1-3 years to get it done. Do your research. Look up before and after pics. And realize that good plastic surgery cost good money.
I don't advocate plastic surgery for an easy fix. But sometimes it's the only way to fix problem areas. Don't do this option until about a year of dedication to the other things mentioned.
Now that we've worked on the body lets do the mind.
Go into therapy. Find a good therapist. Your going to be going through a lot of changes and it seems like you have other underlying issues going on.
Become an interesting person. Join clubs, get involved in sports, volunteer, anything. Being hot can be boring if that's all you are.
Being attractive takes a lot of work and effort. No one just wakes up looking amazing. There is time and effort into everything. So if this is something you want to do it takes a lot of effort until it becomes effortless.
But you can do it. As long as you put in the work, you can change your self to what you want to be.