Seeing someone occasionally isn't the same as living with them. Before, you were on an equal footing and if anything she had the power because you had a lot to make up for. Now she's in your house, outnumbered by your family and expected to behave how you want her to. She can't raise any issues about anything because you see her as a child and shes outnumbered by you and your wife. So that explains why she's different now- you were fine in small doses when she didn't have to change herself to fit you. It's like dating- your boyfriend might seem awesome when you're meeting up a couple of time a week and doing fun dates, but living together shows a whole other side that you might not like.

You say you don't have any rules, but you clearly do. If the only rule you have is not to bring people home, why do you care that she's lying about where she is and when she'll be back? She's not breaking any rules by being out of the house from 8am to midnight, so why do you mention it as an issue in your post? Just because something isn't explicitly stated as a rule, doesn't mean you aren't putting expectations on her which pressure her.