i mean, is she also gonna exclude him from the funeral because it's a really personal family moment? if OP knew her husband since they were 12, that means he probably also knew OPs grandma since then and grew up with her being around. i understand she's not biologically his family and ofc she's a grandma and mother first but this just... feels so cruel. my heart breaks for that poor man. i want to be understanding that grief doesn't always make sense, but OP doesn't get to dictate who is allowed to grieve and who isn't

also i find it very weird that you don't want your spouse -- your partner in life -- there for this. idk what kind of relationship you think you have with your husband, but you guys don't seem to be on the same page about it. i feel truly sorry for all of you, but YTA op, you're being selfish and cruel