I’m sorry you’re hurting. I can understand the pressure of living up to expectations that others set for you, and the only response I have to that, after years of trying to figure it out for myself, is that it’s your life, to choose the way you want to live it. While I normally don’t give advice and think you should see a professional, it sounds like, you seem to have a loveless marriage that is over. If therapy hasn’t worked, and it has created drama in your life, it may be time for a divorce. While this process may be difficult, handling it tactfully, may lessen the alienation from your family, ease things with your girlfriend, and open up the door to the job you’d like to pursue.

Just some thoughts. Regardless, please try and remember that you’re young. Your now isn’t your forever. Life is worth living. We’re here for you.