My initial interest in Ghazi came from being tired of online hostility. I thought I found an answer but quickly saw they didn't want discussion (look at some of my other posts, a few of them end in Ghazi censoring).

KiA actually seems more willing to discuss these broad issues, so for that I applaud you guys. You taught me something about myself and your community.

Well, both sides have major issues with online hostility. I won't say KiA is the good guys either - it depends on the individual.

I think reddit has done a good job with its informal code of conduct - reddiquette. Extracts:

Remember the human. When you communicate online, all you see is a computer screen. When talking to someone you might want to ask yourself "Would I say it to the person's face?" or "Would I get jumped if I said this to a buddy?"

Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.

Moderate based on quality, not opinion. Well written and interesting content can be worthwhile, even if you disagree with it.

Unfortunately, reddit isn't moderated based on reddiquette. It was, a long time ago. Now it's just based on "don't break the ToS" (e.g. don't do anything illegal, engage in vote manipulations, or brigade other threads without a friendly admin) but otherwise it's all up to the mods.

Reddit wanted to be a community. But it hasn't really done anything to control the mods.

I think that mods should be required to observe reddiquette where possible. Maybe a pseudo-legal system, in which sub rules should be explicit (and compatible with reddiquette), and that failure to run a sub in as unbiased manner as possible can result in a loss of mod powers. But that's very debatable.

It's a question of "what's the best way to run a collection of online communities". I don't think there's any easy answer, but I don't think reddit is really trying anymore, and that's a shame.