I feel ya. I've been single since the beginning of 2016, but I've never been in a decent relationship. I always attract guys who need someone to look after them and can't offer much in return. For a while, I feel good about myself for being able to help them (and get off on the compliments, etc), then over time I just lose a lot of myself and end up taking major self-esteem hits. I decided to take a break from relationships/dating after the last guy, only to realise I was repeating this pattern in my close friendships.

I feel like I'm better off alone, no disappointments and no feeling overwhelmingly responsible for the wellbeing of someone else (my mum was very unwell when I was a kid, so I feel like this is ingrained in my personality), but I miss the attention and affection from a partner. Overall, I think relationships (in general, not just romantic) contribute negatively to my depression, but that's because of my poor boundaries. Sometimes I feel lonely, but I work in mental health, so I make personal connections with people on a daily basis, which keeps me rolling.

I wouldn't want a 'Chad', as I need someone who can understand the depth of my character, equally, I wouldn't want someone who is ruled by poor mental health, because I'm not in that place and I know it'd have a detrimental effect on my wellbeing eventually (been there, done that waaaay too many times!). I guess there must be some people out there who have the 'right' balance, but it's not like I'm perfect, so they're not banging my door down yet. Haha.

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