I dont like the term "narcissist abusers". Being abused by someone in this way is never okay, it's dark and terrible.

I feel interpeled by the discour people have on the subject of narcissism. I feel hurt and sympatize with the victims of abuse. of course, I am one myself. But there's something that always irked me with this discour.

That person who inflicted trauma on me, I dont like to try to fit him in a mold like that, It's not fair. It's not okay for other people who are diagnosed with Npd and who wont behave at all the same way that he did with me. I dont want to place someone in box with a label. I find it pejorative. I think we are using the term in a bit the same way people in the 80's used the term psychopath and sociopath. It makes the term so negative that it becomes irrelevent to even use it for medical purposes. It's vilifying

When I call him narcissist, it makes me the victim and I dont want to feel scared by him, I dont want to give him that power over me. He has none, but calling him "abuser", "narcissist" gives him that. Wihout it, he's only a small mouse.