I am writing this in hopes that it inspires something:

I can definitely relate to the idea of feeling "behind" and having "lost time." I, too, was only able to really cut my family out of my life when I was in my mid 20's. What many people would consider their "fun" years, for me were marked with pain, loneliness, anger, and frustration. I felt like my life had been robbed, and for no reason at all whatsoever.

So yes, it sucks. That being said, if you can focus on a life of constant self-improvement, you'll be far ahead of most people in no time. The average person is actually pretty lazy when it comes to this stuff.

For example, I visit /r/personalfinance often. The end result? I've paid off most of my loans and have a healthy emergency fund / a sizable retirement account for someone in my age group. I've started learning to cook, not only to gain the skills but also to save money and learn better habits.

I also visit /r/fitness and have learned the ins and outs of things like macros, lifts, nutrition, etc, which has allowed me to live a more active lifestyle and get into better shape. In addition to looking better, you also feel better. People treat you very differently when you look better and exude self-confidence. Sad fact of life, but it's a truth I've accepted, and it's made me happier for it.

Every day, I allot some time to learning skills that would make me more competitive in the marketplace. I try to learn one new thing each day, and at the end of the week, I go back and review what I've learned to make sure it all sticks.

In my case, making all these improvements is my way of becoming a superior version of myself -- a new identity. The person I would have been had I been born with normal parents.

Eventually, you start to see your upbringing as something you overcame, rather than something that is still holding you back. You have been unfairly sabotaged and dealt a shitty hand in life, absolutely. But as you said, the future is in your hands now. If you divert your efforts in that direction, you can very quickly catch up.