Interestingly enough, I think your username sums it up: I can see both sides of this fence. I would have said the opposite if I hadn't read your post. Your title made it sound like your boyfriend believes women don't have reasons to be afraid of men, but after reading your post - and correct me if I'm wrong - it doesn't sound like that was the case.

Of course it sounds like your statement was not meant to be taken literally, but I can understand that he would be hurt by it since you made the statement when he was sitting right next to you. I think his remark about "it wouldn't be okay if I said I hate all women" is fair.

It also sounds like he wasn't bringing up his history of abuse by women to derail your points about the disproportionate rates of abuse women face at the hands of men, but to simply explain his perspective.

To me it doesn't sound like he wasn't being empathetic or understanding; he was merely offering his own point of view.

Now, if your boyfriend legitimately believes that women don't face the aforementioned disproportionate rates of violence, and if he doesn't believe that women live in a world built on our own oppression and that most of us live in fear everyday in specific situations like taking public transportation alone at night, to me that's alarming.

Did I misinterpret anything here? Was he simply focused on the "I hate all men" statement, or was he explicitly saying that women don't have very legitimate reasons to be afraid of men?