I can only speak about my experience as someone with multiple attempts. There are a lot of factors that come into play before I tried. It was never just one aspect of my life that was going to shit but a lot of stuff that kept getting piled on over and over that after awhile I felt trapped. The US healthcare system is a joke. When I went to therapy they kept prescribing pill after pill. The last time I went to that therapist he literally said “This drug is commonly used to treat people with X condition but we are doing a study to see if it can help with your condition”. That made me question if I needed the other 3 pills I was taking since my first visit. The times I did try to see it through it was never something I planned out. The feeling and thought was always there but it was always a quick decision. Sometimes I get asked why would I do it but I don’t know how to explain it. The last 2 times I attempted I was battling a crystal meth addiction as well. Maybe that had something to do with it as well. Not even the hardest drug was keeping me happy anymore. Hell this one time my heart stopped and I collapsed where I was at. When I woke back up I was actually disappointed that I kept on living. Maybe it was spending all last year tripping on shrooms and getting clean to work through unresolved trauma/surpressed emotions but I don’t feel as bad as I did in those years. Not saying everything is all fine and dandy but the ‘voice’ of suicide isn’t as loud anymore.