Well, if your ex-spouse had forced you out of the house by falsely accusing you of abusing a child that probably isn't yours, I doubt you'd feel heavily inclined to interact with that child either. The reason she made this accusation, which she actually stated in her delusional police report, is that I was completely uninterested in sex with her and she was "paranoid."

Also, that since I watched pornography which is "against god," it made me a sick pervert.

The police found unequivocally nothing happened to the child. The child even stated no abuse occurred. Yet, as the issue was investigated I had to continue to pay to support the entire household, since my lazy blob of an ex refused to work since the day the child was born, and sleep on a cot in my friend's office.

This is one of many instances of my ex attempting to ruin my life. Marrying this woman was literally the worst choice I ever made. I attribute the decision to poor self-esteem and desperation.

Since the state refuses to separate this woman entirely from the child, there is exactly a 0% chance I will ever interact with either of them outside of a courtroom.

If the child is mine, at least I'll have some return on the hundreds of thousands of dollars I spent to support my ex and this kid over an eight year period (not even counting the lost years of my life and emotional abuse). This alone makes trying to force her into a paternity test worthwhile to me.

Also, being biologically related to the child gives me some valid reason to believe I should be paying child support rather the feeling that I'm just being stolen from.

The child is being deprived of nothing as she lives with her wealthy grandparents while my ex takes my money for child support, also lives rent-free with her parents, collects benefits from the state, and has a $13/hr job. If she's being deprived of a father, that is strictly the fault of my ex.

While the situation is shitty for the child, I'm not willing to end up in jail to spend time with a kid I have literally no emotional relationship with... sorry, hard to accept but true.

It should also be noted that my ex has serous mental health and substance abuse issues and had already managed to lose custody of the child to the state and her parents multiple times.

How the state returned custody to her, I have no idea at all. They clearly are more interested in "mommy" being with her child than whether or not the child is being fed. This pretty firmly reinforces the idea that I'd have no choice but to interact with the child's mother to interact with the child.

So, that's how I feel. This is not a "petty grudge." Far from it.