3. CMV: It's not racist to demand that immigrants integrate into the dominant cultu...

CMV: It's not racist to demand that immigrants integrate into the dominant culture, and that is better for them if they do.

Thanks for the edits and the response. I think you've really hit the nail on the head, and some people just aren't going to like the immigrant experience in a particular country. That's fine, and I wouldn't want to live in rural Michigan any more than you.

Some of my husband's family still refuse to believe that he's actually going to continue living in America. They make comments about what he'll do "when he's done with his globetrotting phase" and ask why I won't just move to the UK even though he's the one who is adamant about staying in the US. When I'm not around, they really pester him about what he's doing here and how long he's really going to keep up this nonsense. I find that reception just as exhausting as you probably found your time in Michigan. Americans in the UK get constant jokes and commentary about the Big Four: Gluttony, Guns, God, and Government. Most Brits are perfectly friendly and welcoming, but the ones who aren't make me too uncomfortable to have any desire to emigrate there. I don't want to live somewhere I have to apologize for my nationality for the rest of my life, but lots of Americans move to the UK and are perfectly happy there!

For the heritage thing, a lot of Americans grew up with grandparents cooking these dishes and talking about their home country so there is a sort of collective cultural nostalgia that really won't ever make sense to Brits. They're not pretending to be immigrants, but I absolutely understand how it would look that way. It's less about the country and more about their own familial traditions and identity. When they say "I'm Polish" they mean "my family is descended from Polish immigrants" but no one in the US needs to clarify that because they can tell from the accent which type of "Polish" you are. The US is like one big fusion restaurant where everything gets jumbled up and the authenticity is hit-or-miss. The pasty could totally be the food of Swedish immigrants in a particular region, like empanadas are the food of all immigrants in Florida and kebabs are now traditionally British.

Anyway, immigration is hard, blending nationalities in a family is an exercise in patience and shrugging off accidental insults, and the average untraveled citizen of any country is going to make cringe-inducing comments to expats and immigrants. Most people are trying to be welcoming in the way that they would want to be welcomed, which obviously doesn't do much for someone of a different culture. I'm glad you found a place that does work for you!

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