But I'm still struggling to understand why you think identifying it causes more of it? Can you give an example or illustration?

It's hard to describe my feelings, and when I do, I'm often walking on eggshells - one poorly worded explanation and people jump all over you.

I never dated much until my 20s, and I've tried to express that feeling of loneliness to women, and it's easy to say something that arouses suspicion about one's worldview - a lot of fools blame loneliness on women, so I can understand why it's a touchy topic.

I guess that's why I feel lonely. Everyone is just looking for something to blame instead of trying to understand things work - it's a very human tendency. I suppose I'm doing the same thing with this post.