Slurs can and are used to get people killed. Like deadnaming and misgendering someone in public to intentionally alarm someone into violence. Deadnaming a suicidal trans person. People are allowed to be assholes, but slurs and hate speech are used to torment, which fits the definition of harassment, and in my state, several people have been charged with harassment for using hate speech. Context is crucial. And if you want to be specific with what a person should be charged with, it could also be considered a hate crime.

And Ben Shapiro is a terrible man who thinks the 7th grade standards of debate (talk convincingly and site crap sources) should be used to teach people about social issues that cost lives of minority people everywhere. The sources he uses are not credible at best and misleading to audiences at worst, and I don't respect him as a journalist.

And if you say you're 6ft versus 5ft to a date, you might get dumped, but you sure as hell won't get killed so it isn't a fair comparison.