hey thanks for your response - yes i agree.. I wrestle myself with not knowing. because it formed part of a bigger story. we started to date and i always insisted he used a condom, telling him this was important to me. months later i found out about that first night, and i was really upset - explaining that i wasn't on the pill and that he could've given me an sti etc. but i thought exactly that it's just a misunderstanding. anyway i get tested and it's clean and i therefore assume he must be clean too (i was young and didn't realise stis don't pass everytime you have sex). anyhow on the basis of this i agreed to have unprotected sex with him, as he always wanted it. in the mean time he had unprotected sex with another girl. we were not exclusive but i thought given what i had told him, he would tell me. but no he didn't- we got into a relationship and 9 months down the line it turns out i have pelvic inflammatory disease from chlamydia. the doctor had asked me months before 'is there any chance of you having an sti?' my boyfriend said no. anyway we are no longer together and i shouldn't be ruminating on it. i just have this constant fight within myself whether i was just stupid to not always check stuff more with him and that he's just uneducated/unaware about these issues (which is the case).. or whether he really just didn't care about my sexual health from the start. i made a mistake in assuming others have the same values as me, i guess. sorry for such a long comment haha.