I secretly get off a lot on taking control from him, restraining him, dominating and trading power with him. That dynamic is very taboo between us for whatever reason, which is huge part of the attraction.

He's older then I am, we've been together since I was very young and I've always sought his approval; it's a very unequal relationship in general. I'm not a doormat, we tussle from time to time, but generally he's more comfortable in control, and that extends to sex too.

He's very into orgasm denial, super-slow pacing, and control: he likes to be on top or behind me, to hold me down, give orders, pull me around, make demands. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he's like this: I love the abandon of it: but I have to say it makes it ten times hotter for me when my turn comes to see him made helpless by pleasure or arousal, to see his ecstasy and relief when I take over and control isn't an option for him anymore.

He lets go, and it is always so fucking hot to watch because he's not as practiced at that: he can be so wound and pent up sometimes, he lets go and all this tension is like a torrent just sweeping out of him, and he lets himself feel everything, and I can see it in his face. It's incredibly erotic for me to be the cause of that, more than he might even suspect. I have thoughts sometimes I wouldn't confess to him.