Thanks you!
One thing I didn't mention because I felt the original post was super long was, I told her these things. I asked her about college and what she was studying. She asked me if I ever went and I said I did. She asked me why I haven't gone back and I was honest.
I said "I'm in my late 20's. There's kids in those classes and I would just be THAT older guy". She told me I was crazy and that there's 40 year old men in her classes. I told her about how I was in the forest service and she said I should get back into that. Also at work, I taught her everything she knows, and I actually taught her some supervisor stuff. It's retail so it's not too complicated. She then was almost doing a better job than I was a certain things. I was actually impressed. Like, that's awesome. It made me want to actually step up my game at work. Which I did.
We talked about traveling, not together but like places and where we would go. I said I feel like I'm stuck. And she said "it's a big world out there Ron, you have to go see it". And I told her to stay in college, otherwise she'd end up like all of us here in town. Stuck in jobs we don't like wanting to do more. She talked about dropping out but I kept saying don't. I don't think I had any influence on her still going but I definitely shot down the idea of her leaving.
This summer I think all I really did was BBQ with my neighbors, get drunk at the beach every weekend, listen and go to record stores and stream on YouTube. Alot of the time I was drunk at the beach tho, eating unhealthy.
When she came around it just reminded me of the ambition I had. And I wanted to tell her that. Yes I do like her. I know the she gap as well as out life paths would not alone us with dating. But once we started talking I really started getting motivated to go back to school and get my old forestry job back.
I feel like I've wasted the last 5 years being comfortable and lazy. This last summer I literally got drunk at the beach every weekend eating burgers and biking in my Hawaiian shirts. I literally that guy. And it's was embarrassing that this girl was doing well all these things that I wish I would have continued doing. Embarrassing in a good way.
I wanted to tell her these things. I mean it when I just wanted to have a good friend like her around. In my town people come and go since it's a tourist town. And I don't have a lot of motivational people around me. Or ambitious people.
I wanted to tell her the last week she was here but we had that falling out and I tried to fix it. I really just wanted her to know that at the end of the day.