Thanks for the response... And sorry for the novel up there. Jeez. Didn't realize it was so long.

But details are always key with trying to make sense of a personality I suppose.

The breakup was my doing. After the 20th bewildering conversation/argument we had about her need to "keep her heart open with other people" ('people' was vague speak for 'men') in which case I would say "you know you're allowed to do that, but not with me... So just let me go if you prefer." she would retract that need, and gaslight. Questioning me over and over about what I think jealousy is. Why I think the way I do. That she doesn't want to keep her heart open with other people afterall.... "but you just sai...?!" "No, I never said that. I said I only want to be with you." My old boyfriend could deal with my interactions with other men better than you...."

Crazy pills! I felt like I was on crazy pills.

My instinct after enough of those conversations... Was that she wanted me to breakup with her. I gave her the option to follow her needs by letting me go, and she wouldn't agree to disagree. She was on my side in the end. Appeasement.

So I finally said "this isn't going to work... We should break up.". And I started balling crying expecting her to do the same... But she was cold and distant.

I expected her to do the same, because she was so adamant about her deep love for me. "I've never felt this way before in my life. Everyone compliments how happy I look and I tell them it's because of you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be the mother of your children." All that stuff. Those are serious statements and I took them to heart.

So to talk to her on the phone 3 days later, and hear the cold indifference in her voice... I was shell shocked. Why didn't she break it off with me if she didn't care? Blah. So confusing.