Christmas Eve rant.

My dad who abandoned me when I was 1 (alcoholism, gambled everything we had away) has been dealing with cancer the past year and a half. He came back in my life when I was a teenager and we don't get along. My family keeps making me, as a junior in college, meet him and have to spend time with him or even on holidays(Christmas for exampls) I lose all my time with my mom and grandmother to deal with him. I never get an option, it's just "no you need to see him" and I get pushed out the door.

The issue is I don't want to. I don't see him as anything other than a biological father. He's not my "father", my grandfather was. He's in this situation because of his own choices(pack a day smoking) and he's never even apologized for what happened when I was younger. I've forgiven him and I'm at peace with it, but I don't feel I should bend over backwards for him let alone I should ruin my life for him. I'm always stressed about it and ive even made t known I dread coming home for breaks because of it. Already walked out on my family tonight so I wouldn't blow up with anger because my dad calls me telling me I need to go over and move shit christmas morning instead of spending it with my mom. My actual family.

If it wasn't a holiday I would've driven back to college already.