I understand and have considered this possibility as well. Mainly because some things have happened within the last couple of months that have struck me as odd, but again, this wedge between us was there before and has just become worse.
So, my husband has always kept his nails just a tiny bit long (not disgusting, but long enough to scratch an itch, to know?). He's also a smoker. Well, now he keeps nail clippers and an obscene amount of breath mints in his truck. In the entire time I have known him, he's never cut his nails short and now he is. He's never kept breath mints on his person, but now he is. In addition to that, he keeps changing the passcode on his phone. So, I have no idea what it is.
Those are all HUGE red flags for me. But, it's really impossible for me to know for sure because of his schedule. He has a very bizarre schedule, goes to work at different times every day and never knows what time he'll be coming home (this isn't new and has always been the case). So, I can't really "catch" him coming home late or anything like that. My gut tells me something is not right but at the same time, I feel like if he were cheating on me that he would have kicked me out by now or something. And then the masturbation thing confuses me even more. . . Like is he just masturbating? Is he cheating on me AND masturbating? I don't know what to think.
I told him the clippers and mints were suspicious and sort of tease him about it every time I'm in his truck. He doesn't say anything about the nails but claims the mints are to help him cut down on smoking. . . which I don't believe because he still smokes like crazy. I haven't had the opportunity to ask him about the passcode on his phone yet, but even when I have had it, he deletes everything - that can be difficult to address as well because it's a work phone. So, I don't know if he's removing stuff he doesn't want work to see or hiding stuff from me or both.
Neither of us have changed much, aside from normal aging (we're both in our 30's). He's always been a big guy but hasn't gained anymore weight than what I'm used to seeing. I've had two kids so of course my body is nothing like it once was, but I haven't changed a crazy amount (and remember, he was still very intimate with me for a long time even after having kids) and have actually been trying really, really hard to always have my hair and makeup done and to dress the best I can when he sees me, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. I still get ignored.
So, yes, it's absolutely a possibility that he is cheating on me. But how can I ever find out for sure? And if he is. . . WTF do I do then? This really sucks.
By the way, I appreciate the time you've spent commenting (and everyone else too). I literally have NO ONE I can talk to about this (except my husband, if I can work up the nerve to do so) so I appreciate it!