My wife and I have used Dove soap for semi-sexy-times in the shower, before, usually just to quickly rub one out for each other; our hot water tank is only good for about fifteen minutes of warmth. But, one time I was really horny, and when she was bent over to shave her legs I rubbed myself up and down her buttcrack. She seemed to like it, but we knew time would be short, so we didn't go right for actual penetration. I vigorously rubbed by dick up and down her butt, with soap as lube, until I was close to release. She finished me off, and then suddenly, the moment I ejaculated, I was overcome with an intense pain, the closest description of which I can put this way: imagine that tenderness of your dick after you've cum, and now amplify it by a factor of a thousand, and pretend you're still being intensely stimulated. I actually recoiled from the pain, and deliberately tipped myself out over the edge of the tub so that I could curl up on the floor in agony. I tried to keep my composure, but I'll confess it made me cry.

When I finally dragged myself to the bed in a big, wet, cummy mess, I checked my dick to see that the edges of the glans were completely dark red, like there was a massive blood blister running the whole periphery. I could see broken blood vessels under the skin all over, and as I dried off, the skin around the head started to peel. I'm uncircumcised, but even with the foreskin for protection, every single movement - walking, sitting, breathing, existing - set all those nerves on fire anew. Sexual gratification was a fundamental impossibility. It took almost two weeks to heal fully, and I still have a spot on the right edge that's slightly tender even three months past.

My best guess is that despite the feeling of reduced friction, I basically gave my dick an "Indian burn", causing surface chafing and subcutaneous bruising.

0/10; would not recommend (even with rice).