I became pregnant with the son of a man whom I had been with for two and a half years, whom I was living with. We had actively discussed plans for our future, where we would live, how we would marry after I graduated, then enjoy maybe a year or so before trying for kids.
In my last semester of graduate school, he met someone else, unbeknownst to me, of course. The night, the very night that he began trying to break up with me almost completely out of the blue (i.e., he had been actively discussing marital plans only a week or two before) - that night, I decided to take a pregnancy test because I was so upset and tired, and I just wanted to sleep without worrying that my period was late.
Yup.
So, long story short, I finished graduate school while pregnant with the son of a man who had completely ripped the life I thought I was working towards away from me.
As a pro-choice woman since forever, I tried to consider abortion, but I just couldn't. Every time I tried to think about it, I completely fell apart. I wanted the baby, despite everything. Despite the fact that I had to move back in with my abusive mother. Despite the fact that I had to complete my grueling last semester of graduate work whilst doing a 2 hour commute on the stinky NYC subway. Despite all, I always wanted my boy.
However, I am so much more pro-choice than I was before for this experience. I gave up everything that I knew. I have been single for four years now, and do not see an end in sight anytime soon - babysitting costs and so forth, and I have basically no familial support. I would do it again in a second, and my son is absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me.
BUT. I am a woman with a masters level education in a field which is in demand. My son's father has consistently paid child support, and this is considerable, as he makes a decent living himself. I am able to afford a two bedroom apartment. My son is healthy, intelligent, and has no disabilities that might incur additional costs (I work with developmentally disabled children, and I can't even begin to explain how much some of those parents have to deal with, from the issues themselves to behaviors to paperwork...it's unbelievable).
I am very, very lucky -- and it is HARD. Still so fucking lonely and hard.
If I were only able to work a minimum wage job, and his father did not contribute, there is no way I would be able to live without government support. I wouldn't be able to have child care while I worked - there would be no other option but welfare. Even if I lived in the crappiest, tiniest rathole in the city, who would take care of him?
How could anyone mandate this fate on someone? If this would be my situation if I had no education or had chosen a less marketable degree, how could you say that that was your only choice?
I never even seriously considered abortion for myself when I was in that situation. But everyone should be able to make that choice for themselves.