He won’t grow up because he has you to rely on. And if it’s not you it’s someone else. It took me 6 years to realize that my ex was never going to want to put forth the effort to make a quality life for himself or for me. His excuse for not looking for a full time job was that they might drug test and he didn’t want to give up smoking weed because it made him feel better. He didn’t want to get himself a car because he didn’t want a car payment. He didn’t want to finish school because he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. If you have to ask someone to be an adult you’re relationship is already off to a bad start.