A lot of these replies completely miss the point but this one is close. The CORE issue in my experience with a variety of incel-types is....the way men are raised to deal with their emotions.

I'm a guy (not an incel) and the way the boys of my generation were told to man up and suppress your feelings. It was not common to train emotional intelligence like it was with mothers and daughters - I don't know any man my age who has that great parental connection. I love my dad but he hardly prepared me for anything outside of a career. Everything I learned about emotions was from trial and error because I never felt like I had anyone I could talk to about it.

In retrospect I can see how boys fall into the incel trap...you're an angry kid and not sure how to deal with it but you find a community of other angry people and start to think it's normal. You surround yourself with these bad apples and absorb their world views like a cult. Like a cult? It IS a cult. I feel bad for anyone caught up in one.

I'm not sparing them of the blame AT ALL - their opinions are total shit - but the root cause of why they end up that way is mostly a lack of emotional socialization. Depression can lead you to some very dark places

Things are changing, though. Seems like way more millennial fathers are forming better relationships with their sons than boomer fathers did.