Oh babe, I feel you about the confusion. I think I have a strong case of ugly duckling syndrome, but I still feel like I'm average at best due to my esteem. Story time.

Five years of on and off bullying during school utterly convinced me that I was completely unattractive. Like, a troll of some sort.

I remember one of my bullies looking me up and down and casually saying "2/10 at best." Boys would trip me up in the corridors. Things like this would happen to me on a semi-regular basis.

However, I did have boyfriend in school too, albeit the last two only wanted to pump-and-dump (I was 16, one was 19 and the other was 24-ish). I also turned down one guy just before I finished school, but he was a notorious geek and he had a bit of a nervous tick that he also got bullied for. People joked that we "suited each other."

So, I still felt very unattractive.

But then university happened.

I swear, I feel nearly all of my guy friends (with the exception of one) had a crush on me.

One friend became really, really bitter and jealous when I started making new guy friends. We both fell out big time (keep in mind I'm not into the FWB scene at all. I have never slept with a male friend, so this guy was freaking me out with his possessiveness.)

Another friend got super upset when I casually mentioned I had a crush on some guy.

I had an inkling he'd taken a shine to me, but I never gave him any indication that I liked him back, at all. He wasn't my type. (overweight gamer, kinda spotty, socially awkward etc. etc.) We stayed friends for a while, but he became a bit of an aggressive asshole so I don't talk to him now.

Another friend apparently had a crush on me, which I only found out months after I started dating my current Bf of four years.

Since I started working at a bar part-time, I get hit on by customers every shift. I get called beautiful, cute, pretty, gorgeous etc. all the time.

But are they just saying that because they're drunk half the time...???

Basically, I play it safe and say I'm a 5/10.