I felt like my therapist was a complete waste of time & absolutely no benefit to me at all. I went to this therapist as a teenager due to anger issues & drug counseling for being a stoner, at that time I was very combative against him because nobody could tell me I was ever wrong & it especially being for my opinion about weed. He also had an understanding of my family history from relatives also talking with him to become aware of the trauma & mental health history in my family.

Years later when I see him again from facing collapse, self awareness & PTSD after my exwBPD split on me, he was absolutely no help at all for me just told me things like ok you need to just move on from her now or you need to internalize all the love you had for yourself now or you should use your narcissistic traits to be healthy for you or you can’t always have things go your way in life or you need to find what will make you happy as a person without relying on others, just a bunch of shit that was more triggering than helpful to me.

Eventually I felt I pushed him away from being tired of dealing with me as most people get tired of narcissists or he seen me as being combative & wasn’t completely honest with him about how I was progressing over the trauma by my ex due to my ego issues making it seem I was happy to not deal with her anymore so he pushed me away from seeing through my bullshit. He’d also make me feel I was overreacting about the pain I felt from her betrayal & abuse or make it seem like it’d be easy for my happiness in life to come back after the heartbreak,trauma & crisis I was having or making it like I should just realize the hard truth from what I already knew over how unwell she is as a person that I shouldn’t be dwelling on her in such a way. Which the little bit of sanity in me that understands what a mentally stable person would feel in a situation like mine you shouldn’t be so broken by it because being abused isn’t something you’d want to deal with by a partner & should be happy/want to get away from it but unfortunately NPD was fighting against me on everything because of my attachment issues, the extreme devastation feeling failure/not good enough, the explosive rage to betrayal, additional trust issues, feeling i’m unlovable & people just constantly use me to benefit them.

Fuck therapists, they don’t care about Cluster Bs at all. They literally despise us & want us to just move on from whatever we’re going through because it’s easier for us to shove our problems away instead of actually facing them so a therapist can use that against you so they can be done with having to deal with you. Sorry i went on a rant here but I hate my therapist tbh, I know I didn’t make it easy for me but that’s expected when you have NPD we literally avoid committing to heal so therapists should know they should try harder for us but they dont.