I had a good spoilt upbringing to the point that to this date we’re told- you had things we never did. I was taught that people don’t feel deeply, I was taught no empathy i cannot recall a single instance and i was taught to not let others get ahead. And I was always loved if i had good grades. Id tremble and lie endlessly and pray for death at age 7 for getting a B once. I hate it to no end at times. When you’re a kid the problem is the outside i look at my equally disciplined and spoild friends and feel they did well but they had excellent boundaries and nurturing things. I agree to an extent that in adulthood as my parents have mellowed out and i have a better relationship with them I don’t hold them accountable either but the damage has been done. Ive become an entitled person who thinks everything is an attack when its not and ruining good stuff for myself in life. Either way its npd and its no good. I hear and see stories of people with horrific childhoods and feel that i have no excuse at times.