Well, I think it basically boils down to

0) The society projecting a narcissistic a rat race to the top of mountain "good career" "materialistic success" and "superficial looks". The corporate culture also being a huge driver. Both create this false illusion that

1) you adopt as a set of perfectionist unrealistic expectations you put on yourself

2) And needing to "act the part" with a false sense of self to cover up own insecurities.
Becoming controlling of others to maintain that false sense of self and placing unrealistic expectations of self on others (this is the damaging part)

3) Maybe having parents who were narcissistic themselves to value you not for who you are but what you achieve

Narcissism is driven by our own misplaced values of what is important in our lives - wealth, looks, career and fame. It becomes an unattainable dream and you sell yourself out in the process of attaining it.

But what most people are looking for is "class". This means to first and foremost have character in addition to everything else. The movie Parasite captures the nuance around this dynamic brilliantly. In a sense to have all of the above is quite unattainable for most people. It is not necessary to have a meaningful life.

What's more important is coming to an understanding of what makes us happy, and changing our lives to reflect that paradigm. Lot of narcisstic people are also "victims" of their own parents or family dynamic that had prioritized the same values.