You're a coward. Dont put that stress on your brother talk to a medical professional that is trained to understand the flags and offer solutions. You are playing the victim for no reason. Don't blame your fucking brother or anyone else. This is you, you are damaged. people not in your situation could never truly understand. But your mental health is no joke. So dont treat it like it is. Your brother can't help you only you can help you. Yeah it sucks to have to go spill your guts to a doctor but damn does it feel good to have the weight lifted. Please dont take this as some sort of attack. As a person who was once in your shoes, nobody understood what i was saying when i was younger mental health was never taken seriously in my family and I was FUCKED when I got out of highschool. I felt like i had nowhere to go and it sucks. But I realized that the only real change comes from inside and the people around you may be worse off than you to the point where they offer you some backwards advice to just deal with it on your own. Stay true to you and dont ever become the victim to your own life.