I'm 21, delayed in college for a year, and I might get delayed for another year or two. I'm taking architecture but I'm barely surviving my major classes right now, I have 5 subjects marked incomplete last semester that I settled yet. I used to do well in my studies before. I was an honor student throughout elementary so my parents have high expectation of me. I was surprised that I even graduated junior high with honors because my mental health was just bad that I procrastinated a lot. Then things just got worse from senior high to college. I feel like a failure because my other classmates in junior high will graduate next year, some who are Dean's Listers, and here I am. My current classmates who are younger than me are doing a better job. I feel pressured. Plus, I feel extra pressured because I'm the eldest child with two siblings (14M and 4F) and I need to pay for my brother's college education someday. I feel pressured and I just worry that I might still be in college when he's about to be in college. I just feel pressured and drained that I'm losing my passion in architecture and I just want to die. Also, I am now wondering if this is really what I want because why am I like this? I don't want to draw anymore and I'm not really sure what I specifically want to do for the rest of my life. Like I love admiring architecture but I feel burnt out. I wanted Computer Science before so why didn't I choose it? Forensic Science? Fine Arts? I don't know. I just feel so lost and left behind. I want to tell my parents everything but I'm scared my mom will just yell at me like she always does to us so idk.